Cutting Ties ...
« The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul » – Shanna Rodriguez
I guess that’s one way of seeing it. Personally, I think making friends as adults is a bit tricky. My childhood friends are gems because no matter how long we don’t see each other, when we do, it doesn’t feel like time has passed. Somehow, we are able to pick up where we left off.
Adult friendships are trickier, I feel. The truth is I’ve been really disappointed lately. For example, click here for the post.
We are all different, that’s a given, and thank God we are. I don’t know about you but as I’m getting older, I just don’t have the same desire or patience to put up with anyone’s shit. But there is this one thing that I do share with my friends and that’s the same values and principles in life.
It’s in the form of a returned favor, or making sure everyone has had a first serving of salad before I can get a second helping, it’s going to invites when I know they mean a lot to my friends, helping during a move, and etc … These are always wordless and come unsolicited. I do it because you are my friend and it pleases me to please you.
I won’t walk on fire for you (that’s reserved to family only), but I’ll hold your hand if you really really want to do it.
It’s really simple in fact. There’s no need for drama.
Sometimes I wish you would ask me – why? Why did I « cut ties » so suddenly? My answer would simply be « my pride refuses to answer to that« .
You like to say that if you were in my place, you wouldn’t feel the way I do or act the way I did. But you are not in my place. You don’t know how I feel. You don’t know how I think. You might think you do, but really you don’t. So how would you know how to feel or how to act?? Frankly, to simply brush away someone’s feelings because that is not how you think you would feel is irrespectful. As my high school teacher used to say, never assume. Because when you do, you simply make an ASS of U and Me.
Another thing – why should I take your professional situation into account? Yes, you are struggling to a job and yes, you are struggling to pay rent. You’re struggling I get it. But I’m struggling too. Maybe perhaps not financially, but I have my struggles. Everything isn’t peachy and I’m certainly not sleeping on a bed of roses. Should I close my eyes and let you hurt me freely because you can’t find a job? If anything, for your sake, that fact shouldn’t even be in the equation.
I don’t know if we will ever talk again. Amazingly, it’s been 6 months and we haven’t ran into each other in the city. I see the « likes » on my company’s IG and FB account so I know you follow my activities, but you’ve never asked me why. It’s not like I don’t know where it’s headed, like many of the stories you’ve told, just like them I’ve become somebody you used to know.
It meant a lot to me to write this post today, for you reading this right, but especially for me. A couple of years ago, I might have gone on months or years, understanding this « friend ». Letting the toxicity consume me, but I’m older. And as cliché as it might sound, as you get older you also get wiser. Today, I am wise enough to say stop and cut ties.