Hey, you! 😊
Have you ever had that moment when you go from laughing your heart out to crying your eyes out? Well, that's what happened to me last Saturday when Baby Girl and I had our first mother-daughter wax session.
This wax session was long overdue! Unfortunately for her, Baby Girl takes after her father and is quite hairy. Haha. Since she is almost going on vacation with my sister and my niece, it was finally time to get down to business.
There was so much laughing, shouting, begging, and bargaining that I am sure any outsider would have thought something crazy was happening. At some point, I even had to clamp shut Baby Girl's mouth because I was afraid the neighbours would report us to the police for physical abuse. Hahah. Admittedly, I might have taken more pleasure than I should have pulling the wax strip off her leg. Poor baby! 🥺🥺
I even took a photo of the wax strip full of her hairs for future blackmail purposes. 😂😂.
But then, that's when the tears started to flow.
I never got to do this with my own mother, I told myself emotionally.
I don't know what it is about this, but ever since I turned 32 years old I feel like I'm living on borrowed time. Which is completely absurd because we are indeed living on borrowed time anyways. Anything can happen to anyone of us anywhere.
So why is it that when I'm doing something, usually with my daughter, I stop doing whatever I'm in the middle of and think? (and even cry...)
I don't know why I constantly do this - revisit the past. Yes, I was 8 years old when my 32-year old mom was diagnosed with cancer. Yes, she was sick on-off for 8 years. And yes, she was 40 when she passed away. I know these things and I've accepted it years ago, so why do this to myself each time? It's just gonna hurt.
But as easily as the tears flow, I usually quickly wipe them away and change my thoughts to gratitude. Because ultimately I'm grateful to be doing these things with my daughter. I remind myself of what I didn't have before and what I have now.
I get to be the mom that my mom didn't have the chance to be.
So many questions, but the answers are so few.....